Rudyard Kipling

"'As anybody seen Bill 'Awkins?"
    "Now 'ow in the devil would I know?"
"'E's taken my girl out walkin',
    An' I've got to tell 'im so --
        Gawd -- bless -- 'im!
    I've got to tell 'im so."

"D'yer know what 'e's like, Bill 'Awkins?"
    "Now what in the devil would I care?"
"'E's the livin', breathin' image of an organ-grinder's monkey,
    With a pound of grease in 'is 'air --
        Gawd -- bless -- 'im!
    An' a pound o' grease in 'is 'air."

"An' s'pose you met Bill 'Awkins,
    Now what in the devil 'ud ye do?"
"I'd open 'is cheek to 'is chin-strap buckle,
    An' bung up 'is both eyes, too --
        Gawd -- bless -- 'im!
    An bung up 'is both eyes, too!"

"Look 'ere, where 'e comes, Bill 'Awkins!
    Now, what in the devil will you say?"
"It isn't fit an' proper to be fightin' on a Sunday,
    So I'll pass 'im the time o' day --
        Gawd -- bless -- 'im!
    I'll pass 'im the time o' day!"